ATTITUDE, APTITUDE, ALTITUDE - LIFE FLIGHT PLANNING

ATTITUDE - APTITUDE - ALTITUDE; choosing a flight path in life.

Targeting, goal-setting and 'success' are very much part of the 21st 
Century social philosophy. In particular areas of our lives, most of us 
have a desire to do well - we want to 'succeed'.
What this really means differs with each different person, but it is a 
common drive.  The North American version emphasises being a 'winner' 
and the usual measuring device involves dollars, and the material goods 
that money can buy.  Other communities have their own versions of 
'social success'.

Irrespective of a person's goals or philosophies there are common 
elements that heighten a person's ability to achieve. 

When I first visited an international airport I was stunned to see how 
steeply the international passenger jets climb when they first leave the 
ground. After gaining maximum speed on the runway, it seems that the 
pilots immediately put them into maximum climb under full throttle.  I 
later learned that these planes burn a huge percentage of their fuel in 
the first few minutes of flight, climbing as rapidly as possible to gain 
as much altitude as possible, so that they can then level out and cruise 
at their chosen altitude - 'cruising' at high altitude apparently being 
an economic way to travel vast distances, particularly with a lightened 
payload now that the bulk of their fuel has been burned. 

Later, when I had the chance to take the controls of a small four seater 
plane my pilot coach explained that when my nose - or rather the nose of 
the plane - was pointed up, I was gaining altitude. He then further 
explained that to gain altitude I, or the plane, had to have a positive 
attitude, and that this was an absolute requirement on leaving the 
runway. Altitude must be gained immediately as a safety requirement, so 
that if something went wrong I had more thinking and praying time before 
reconnecting with terra (very) firma. 

And so I learned that when flying small planes, attitude has a big 
impact on altitude; when a plane is flying at a constant level, the 
pilot could say that he is maintaining a neutral attitude, (which could 
be described as 'just cruising') and the nose of the plane is pointing 
level, neither up nor down.  However when the plane is gaining height, 
the nose of the plane is up, and the plane is said to have a positive 
attitude and is climbing.  When the nose is down and the plane is 
descending, it has a negative attitude, and may be coming in to land. 

Typically a pilot would be very careful to avoid a negative attitude 
unless a welcoming airport was in near proximity. 

So in my first flying lesson I learned that the 'attitude' of the plane 
is chosen by the pilot as a deliberate mechanism to achieve the desired 
outcome in terms of the plane's altitude.  If he wants to increase 
altitude, to fly at a higher level for some reason, he adopts a positive 
attitude, applies appropriate throttle, and hopefully climbs to higher 
altitude.
However, to achieve higher altitude the engine must be worked harder and 
more fuel will be burnt.  Small planes have small motors, and small fuel 
tanks and so have a correspondingly small aptitude in terms of how high 
and how far they can fly.  In general terms the bigger the plane the 
bigger the motors, the bigger the fuel tanks, and the bigger the flying 
range - and the higher the altitude at which they can fly. 

However, before flying each pilot is required to submit a flight plan, 
an outline of where and how he is going to fly.  He is required to plan 
his flight, then to fly his plan. This flight plan however will be 
specifically limited by the capacity - the aptitude - of the plane he is 
flying.  It will include information about the weight to be carried, the 
distance to be flown, the amount of fuel carried and the altitude he 
proposes to fly at.  Each pilot is required to understand the aptitude 
of the plane he is flying, and to plan his flight according to, or at 
least within the limits of, the aptitude of the plane. 

I never did get my pilot's licence, because being colour blind I 
couldn't tell the difference between the wind-sock (bright orange) and 
the grass of the landing strip.  However I did get a very valuable 
lesson in terms of attitude, aptitude and altitude, and individual 
flight-plans when dealing with a wide range of ventures in my life.
Training and qualifications, career plans, relationships, notions of 
personal 'success', sports involvement and other areas of life can all 
be likened to flying.  How high do we want to go in terms of our 
performance? What costs might this have in terms of losing ground-level 

perspective?  How quickly do we want to achieve our desired level? How 
much fuel are we prepared to burn to achieve this, and once there, how 
long is that flight before we take a break and consider another leg in 
our life journey? 

Attitude, aptitude and altitude - but the most important of these is 
attitude.  Where your flight-plan represents your intention, your attitude 
is the factor that will create your actual outcome - and this is simply a
personal decision.

Laughton
13.1.14

PARENTING READINESS

PARENTING READINESS

Playing with dolls as a child, acting as stand-in mum as a teenager, or earning pocket-money as a baby-sitter is great training, but unrealistic preparation for the rigours of parenting.  Most of us want to get it right and spend lots of time fantasising about having our own children - but if we are at all normal, our fantasies are dominated by the loving, cuddling enjoyment time, when we have the most lovable, cutest bundle of love ever invented cradled in our arms. If only that's how it was .....

To test out your own (and partner's) personal readiness here are a few small practical tests;
MESS TEST  1. Smear ice-cream into the carpet, peanut butter on the couch and milk onto the cushions.  Drop half-chewed lollies between the couch cushions, and fish fingers under the sideboard.  Leave for three months, then laugh lovingly as you clean it all up.         
 2.  Find a thoroughly rotten egg, wrap it up in a face-flannel and place it gently in your washing machine amongst your own delicate smalls.  Then forget about it and ask your partner to hang the washing out.
TOY TEST  Buy a variety of good and broken toys from an expensive garage sale.  Take turns with your partner to randomly spread them around the house when he/she is sleeping.
CAR TEST  Purchase an infants car seat, lock it securely into the front passenger seat then drive to a distant destination - taking turns at driving or being passenger sitting in the back seat.
SUPERMARKET TEST  Steal a small goat and take it to the supermarket when you are doing your weekly shop.  Without using rope or shackles or stun-gun keep it with you at all times, and be happily responsible for any costs incurred.
FEEDING TEST  Take a two-litre plastic milk bottle and part fill it with tomato sauce. Swing this from a ceiling hook using a bungy cord, and (without putting it in a head-lock) feed it mashed vegetables with a teaspoon - reciting 'One for the cat...' and pretending to be the Rescue Helicopter on a mission.
SLEEP TEST 1. Record in your own grizzliest voice,
                        "Maaa-um, my bed's wet ...
                        "I want a drink of water ....
                        "There's a mouse in my wall ...
                        "I got a itchy ......
                        "There's a aeroplane flying round my bed ...
                 Set these to play every fifteen minutes for three nights, during the working week.
    2. Spread toasted breadcrumbs through your bed before bedtime.
    3.  Find a small hyperactive dog, tuck it tightly in a bed and sing until it goes to sleep.  This won't work, so after half-an-hour pick it up and dance around your darkened home (remembering that tonight was your partner's turn to spread the toys around) for one hour, singing, humming and cooing.  When this fails too, gently throw the dog into the car seat, tie a 'dummy' (pacifier) into its snout and drive around the block ten times.  Use this time to mentally prepare for your 9 a.m. sales meeting later the same morning.

(With thanks and apologies to Bits and Pieces)


April 2014

COME HERE - WAIT THERE Confusing Parental Instructions.

I sometimes wonder, just how slow off the mark I can be.  For several years now I have been writing, lecturing, teaching about the language we use when talking with our children, and how so often the words we use mean nothing at all to the children.  When we tell them, for instance, to 'hurry up' the words do not depict any useful message to the child - so they don't understand, can't cooperate, and therefore get into trouble for being naughty.  "Hurry up" is an old mining term, and does not mean 'move faster', and nor does it have a clear pictorial message as would the word 'run' - if we bothered to use that instead.

The letter reprinted below, written by an excited new client, really woke me up to the fact that we have a long way to go yet.  I will be including the instructions "Come here", and "wait there" in my seminars from now on - and welcome such contributions from any parents, teachers, or diesel thinkers (dyslexics) themselves.



"Yesterday I realised my eleven year old son does not really understand the words "come here" and "hurry up" and thanks to you, I now understand why and how this is so.
 I went for a walk with him and asked him "What does come here mean?" He looked a bit confused and said ..."I'm in trouble?"
 I said "Why would you be in trouble?" and he said "I don't know".
 I let him walk ahead of me and then he stopped, I said to him "If I said come here what do you think I mean?"
I could see him thinking hard and he said "Walk towards you?"
 I said "Yes, what if I said come here like this (I did some come here hand gestures) would that make more sense to you?"
He said "Yes that makes more sense".
Then I said  "What if I said Come and stand right next to me, does that make any more sense?
He quickly walked over to me and stood next to me and said "That makes much more sense".

 I was sooooo excited. I have made many mistakes with my son and now I am just beginning to really understand. You see every morning getting ready for school we have had so much frustration with him. (I have another son and 2 girls and what works for them does not work for him, so to some extent I understand the frustration that teachers must feel with him).

Usually I am in the kitchen making lunches and when I want him ( maybe to bring his lunch box, maybe to check that he is still getting ready for school or whatever) I used to always call out to him (he would usually be in the lounge or his room), and I would say "R, come here". I would repeat it a few times, then my partner too would call "come here!" When he finally comes to us we are annoyed and frustrated that he didn't come the first time.
He usually says "what?" And that is how it has been for years, because it never occurred to me that he didn't really understand those words.
 
This morning we were getting ready for school and I was in the kitchen and I said to my partner "Listen to this.... R, I want you here in the kitchen now." We waited and he said "coming!" and he was in the kitchen ready and willing to do whatever it is that I asked of him.

I cannot describe how excited I am to know that there are ways that I can really help him.

Sorry this is so long I just felt a need to share with you the progress we are already making.


Laughton King
April 2014